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dyadic_raccoonUm, what? My Text Twirl ass-kicking with one of my sophomore buddies has been put to a halt. Apparently matches expire? Facebook, I hate you sometimes.
So I haven't posted anything really deep lately, and I was kind of in a mood to ramble aimlessly and also talk about the puzzling thing that is fandom in my life at this moment. This is the result of all those things. I put it under a cut because it's way too long, but as a gift for all who might want to read it, I divided it into paragraphs. Enjoy.
Oh man, I am so randomly obsessed with Nora Dunn right now. I mean, when it happened before, I kind of had an excuse. Like, how can I seriously have a hot eye contact dream and not randomly be unable to get her out of my mind? That often happens with the more undeserving/unsuitable on their way off my radar, so whatever. I don't really know why I thought it was necessary to buy 2 of her movies (especially because a Nora Dunn movie is traditionally a movie in which she has less than 5 minutes of screentime, because that's just her way) or her book, but whatever. This time...I don't even know. I'm pretty sure I like her because I know she's flawed. I read every page that mentioned her in the SNL book. She was a bitch. She threw fits all the time. Apparently she slammed doors a lot, according to Victoria Jackson. Granted, I trust Victoria Jackson almost less than that dude who killed Mufasa in The Lion King (man, he was a douche), but Nora admits to being a bitch so it all seems to fit together.
Furthermore, I don't think she's a very good actress. Her characters are generally either overplayed in a bad way or underplayed in a pointless way. She can't do accents. Oh my god, Laws of Attraction made me want to cry in so many ways. Worst, least humorous New York accent of my life. She does bad summer TV. She plays small parts in mediocre movies. I'm not really a fan of her physical appearance. It has many of the same flaws as my own, so it bugs me even more. If you search with her name on Google Image Search, one of my icons makes it onto page 7. And it isn't even an icon of her. It's an icon of Sally Field. Nora Dunn is so lame, an icon of Sally Field is given priority over her life. So, yeah. I'm in dismay over her existence, but every time I find myself hating her it makes me love her even more. It's fucking crazy.
I guess I can understand why I'm kind of obsessed with someone who stands in my mind as a beacon of mediocrity. I'm just sick of thinking that someone is the most amazing, flawless person in this world and then feeling totally screwed over when it turns out they're not. Mary McDonnell is kind of a big one. She was totally life-owning, made me want to be a better person, etc, and then all this shit happened and suddenly I realize she's not exactly who I thought she was. Stockard Channing had her whole DUI thing. I know drinking and driving isn't a crime like intentionally murdering someone, but I have personal issues with it, so whatever. It turned out she was just out for drinks with a friend and the whole thing was blown out of proportion, but we didn't learn this until way after I started to resent her for it. It's happened a million times and it is basically inevitable in my life for whatever reason.
The thing with fandom that sucks is that we're basically treating a person like a thing. It's not our fault, it's not theirs, it's not anybody's. It just works in this really weird way. I mean, when we get involved in a fandom, we typically don't take it out to dinner and get to know it for what it really is; we take what we can get from the news or episodes or gag reels or whatever. It's how our lives work, and there's nothing wrong with it except for the awkward situation that most of us think about a certain person or people on a daily basis as a hobby or a passion, and then if we ever come face to face with them they know absolutely nothing about us. It just doesn't fit perfectly, and there are problems with that on both sides. They can get understandably freaked out, or we can realize, oh shit, this is an actual person. A lot of people deal with it really well. When I was writing a letter to Sarah Clarke for the s-c.net fanbook project one year![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_ila_ told me over and over again that Sarah was just a normal person. She totally had that figured out way before me, and that's awesome.
So I guess I'm just wary of being unintentionally hoodwinked by my own mind and the conflict between two parties and believing that soimeone is beyond human qualities when they are, in fact, extremely human. I resent Joanna Gleason for having some random fear of showing up at the stage door after a show because I somehow forgot that about her, and that was supposed to be the first time I ever met someone I cared that much about. Did she know that? No! She's a fucking person. She can't read her fans' minds and magically know how to make their lives perfect and magical. She doesn't deserve to be blamed, but I blamed her because in my mind that was the only appropriate place to direct it. I haven't been able to watch anything with her recently, but the other day I watched a few of her West Wing eps and I kind of really enjoyed it. I don't know if I've forgiven her or what, but I honestly really like the new, imperfect view of her that I've adopted since then, and I can learn to live with it.
Nora Dunn is basically the same thing. I remember when I was little I was outraged that my parents called Mary Steenburgen's character in Philadelphia a bitch. Watching it with more perspective and maturity, I can say that she is probably one of the most evil, disgusting, pathetic characters in the entire movie. When I was 14 or 15 I accepted that characters can be bitches, but never actresses. But right now, you know what? Nora Dunn was a fucking bitch when she was on SNL. Good for her. I'm a bitch. I constantly--like, on a daily basis--flip out at my parents over nothing because I like the feeling that I have power over them. Is it good that I do that? No, but it's a part of me and it's really nice to not be in denial about it. (Okay, wait, then maybe I like her because I consider bitchiness to be a positive thing and I identify with her right now. Shit, lmao. Okay, I totally added this right before posting this, so pretend it didn't happen. Besides, she has other bad qualities that annoy me at times. See above. There are many.) So I'm overjoyed that Nora Dunn has her imperfections, because I can accept that she's human like me and not some amazing perfect conceptual thing instead of what she is, which is a person.
I can't deal with the totally bipolar version of fandom where I have unnecessary faith in someone I don't really know and then I feel totally betrayed when they turn out to be normal. It's had too much of a negative effect in my life. So I like fandom that imitates a realistic relationship between two people. Lena Olin was kind of my introduction to this in that sometimes she annoyed me and sometimes I would just, you know, lust after her for a bunch of really good reasons. But I loved when I was pissed off at her or annoyed with her because it was so refreshingly human. With Nora I can watch the same 5-second clip from Runaway Jury a million times and kind of randomly think she's hot, but I also have moments where I look at her and think, but I'm perfectly comfortable trash-talking her because her life truly is a sad puzzle to me. I mean, way to boycott an episode of SNL and now be in Chicago doing community theatre, you know? wtg. So, I don't know, that's basically what my life is right now. I seek mediocrity and somehow this equals happiness.
Okay, and read this and tell me if it's not totally offensive and the worst ever attempt to respond to scandalous things. It's part of the opening sketch they aired the night Nora boycotted SNL over Andrew Dice Clay hosting. Kind of cruel and really not that funny. Um, it's in an alternate universe, but I'm pretty sure it involves her death? Or her being crushed in some way, but usually that indicates death, especially with the not-so-subtle Wizard of Oz reference. I'm pretty sure everyone wanted to stab her when this happened, so clearly they were too distracted by their anger to write legitimate jokes. I mean, this entire sketch is basically a big "fuck you" to her. Man, even when she left that didn't put an end to the drama.
(Read the whole thing here.)
So I haven't posted anything really deep lately, and I was kind of in a mood to ramble aimlessly and also talk about the puzzling thing that is fandom in my life at this moment. This is the result of all those things. I put it under a cut because it's way too long, but as a gift for all who might want to read it, I divided it into paragraphs. Enjoy.
Oh man, I am so randomly obsessed with Nora Dunn right now. I mean, when it happened before, I kind of had an excuse. Like, how can I seriously have a hot eye contact dream and not randomly be unable to get her out of my mind? That often happens with the more undeserving/unsuitable on their way off my radar, so whatever. I don't really know why I thought it was necessary to buy 2 of her movies (especially because a Nora Dunn movie is traditionally a movie in which she has less than 5 minutes of screentime, because that's just her way) or her book, but whatever. This time...I don't even know. I'm pretty sure I like her because I know she's flawed. I read every page that mentioned her in the SNL book. She was a bitch. She threw fits all the time. Apparently she slammed doors a lot, according to Victoria Jackson. Granted, I trust Victoria Jackson almost less than that dude who killed Mufasa in The Lion King (man, he was a douche), but Nora admits to being a bitch so it all seems to fit together.
Furthermore, I don't think she's a very good actress. Her characters are generally either overplayed in a bad way or underplayed in a pointless way. She can't do accents. Oh my god, Laws of Attraction made me want to cry in so many ways. Worst, least humorous New York accent of my life. She does bad summer TV. She plays small parts in mediocre movies. I'm not really a fan of her physical appearance. It has many of the same flaws as my own, so it bugs me even more. If you search with her name on Google Image Search, one of my icons makes it onto page 7. And it isn't even an icon of her. It's an icon of Sally Field. Nora Dunn is so lame, an icon of Sally Field is given priority over her life. So, yeah. I'm in dismay over her existence, but every time I find myself hating her it makes me love her even more. It's fucking crazy.
I guess I can understand why I'm kind of obsessed with someone who stands in my mind as a beacon of mediocrity. I'm just sick of thinking that someone is the most amazing, flawless person in this world and then feeling totally screwed over when it turns out they're not. Mary McDonnell is kind of a big one. She was totally life-owning, made me want to be a better person, etc, and then all this shit happened and suddenly I realize she's not exactly who I thought she was. Stockard Channing had her whole DUI thing. I know drinking and driving isn't a crime like intentionally murdering someone, but I have personal issues with it, so whatever. It turned out she was just out for drinks with a friend and the whole thing was blown out of proportion, but we didn't learn this until way after I started to resent her for it. It's happened a million times and it is basically inevitable in my life for whatever reason.
The thing with fandom that sucks is that we're basically treating a person like a thing. It's not our fault, it's not theirs, it's not anybody's. It just works in this really weird way. I mean, when we get involved in a fandom, we typically don't take it out to dinner and get to know it for what it really is; we take what we can get from the news or episodes or gag reels or whatever. It's how our lives work, and there's nothing wrong with it except for the awkward situation that most of us think about a certain person or people on a daily basis as a hobby or a passion, and then if we ever come face to face with them they know absolutely nothing about us. It just doesn't fit perfectly, and there are problems with that on both sides. They can get understandably freaked out, or we can realize, oh shit, this is an actual person. A lot of people deal with it really well. When I was writing a letter to Sarah Clarke for the s-c.net fanbook project one year
_ila_ told me over and over again that Sarah was just a normal person. She totally had that figured out way before me, and that's awesome.So I guess I'm just wary of being unintentionally hoodwinked by my own mind and the conflict between two parties and believing that soimeone is beyond human qualities when they are, in fact, extremely human. I resent Joanna Gleason for having some random fear of showing up at the stage door after a show because I somehow forgot that about her, and that was supposed to be the first time I ever met someone I cared that much about. Did she know that? No! She's a fucking person. She can't read her fans' minds and magically know how to make their lives perfect and magical. She doesn't deserve to be blamed, but I blamed her because in my mind that was the only appropriate place to direct it. I haven't been able to watch anything with her recently, but the other day I watched a few of her West Wing eps and I kind of really enjoyed it. I don't know if I've forgiven her or what, but I honestly really like the new, imperfect view of her that I've adopted since then, and I can learn to live with it.
Nora Dunn is basically the same thing. I remember when I was little I was outraged that my parents called Mary Steenburgen's character in Philadelphia a bitch. Watching it with more perspective and maturity, I can say that she is probably one of the most evil, disgusting, pathetic characters in the entire movie. When I was 14 or 15 I accepted that characters can be bitches, but never actresses. But right now, you know what? Nora Dunn was a fucking bitch when she was on SNL. Good for her. I'm a bitch. I constantly--like, on a daily basis--flip out at my parents over nothing because I like the feeling that I have power over them. Is it good that I do that? No, but it's a part of me and it's really nice to not be in denial about it. (Okay, wait, then maybe I like her because I consider bitchiness to be a positive thing and I identify with her right now. Shit, lmao. Okay, I totally added this right before posting this, so pretend it didn't happen. Besides, she has other bad qualities that annoy me at times. See above. There are many.) So I'm overjoyed that Nora Dunn has her imperfections, because I can accept that she's human like me and not some amazing perfect conceptual thing instead of what she is, which is a person.
I can't deal with the totally bipolar version of fandom where I have unnecessary faith in someone I don't really know and then I feel totally betrayed when they turn out to be normal. It's had too much of a negative effect in my life. So I like fandom that imitates a realistic relationship between two people. Lena Olin was kind of my introduction to this in that sometimes she annoyed me and sometimes I would just, you know, lust after her for a bunch of really good reasons. But I loved when I was pissed off at her or annoyed with her because it was so refreshingly human. With Nora I can watch the same 5-second clip from Runaway Jury a million times and kind of randomly think she's hot, but I also have moments where I look at her and think, but I'm perfectly comfortable trash-talking her because her life truly is a sad puzzle to me. I mean, way to boycott an episode of SNL and now be in Chicago doing community theatre, you know? wtg. So, I don't know, that's basically what my life is right now. I seek mediocrity and somehow this equals happiness.
Okay, and read this and tell me if it's not totally offensive and the worst ever attempt to respond to scandalous things. It's part of the opening sketch they aired the night Nora boycotted SNL over Andrew Dice Clay hosting. Kind of cruel and really not that funny. Um, it's in an alternate universe, but I'm pretty sure it involves her death? Or her being crushed in some way, but usually that indicates death, especially with the not-so-subtle Wizard of Oz reference. I'm pretty sure everyone wanted to stab her when this happened, so clearly they were too distracted by their anger to write legitimate jokes. I mean, this entire sketch is basically a big "fuck you" to her. Man, even when she left that didn't put an end to the drama.
Mephistopheles: Here we are.
Andrew Dice Clay: Where?
Mephistopheles: Studio 8-H. Home of "Saturday Night Live." This is the show you were supposed to host! But, because you were never born Frank Zappa was booked instead!
Andrew Dice Clay: Oh, my God!
Mephistopheles: Tell me about it. [ they begin walking toward Home Base ] Zappa went on an anti-censorship rant.. for about seventy minutes!
Frank Zappa: -- the Thought Police in Washington watching us on their telescreens! Big Brother Bush and his Assistant Reich Marshall Tipper will indubitably prevail! And freedom of speech will go the way of 8-track tapes! [ his lips continue to move, but his voice is silent ]
Mephistopheles: The ratings plummeted. And led to the immediate cancellation of the show.
Andrew Dice Clay: That's horrible!
Mephistopheles: That's not the worst of it. [ leads Andrew Dice Clay to the musical guest's stage ] Behold!
[ Mephistopheles points to an amp lying on top of a pair of women's legs ]
Andrew Dice Clay: What is that?
Mephistopheles: That.. is Nora Dunn. [ the audience hoots and hollars, as Mephistopheles cackles maniacally ] Because you were never born, she was here that night, and was accidentaly crushed by Sinead O'Connor's amplifier. [ audience cheers ]
(Read the whole thing here.)
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no subject
Date: 2008-07-04 06:39 am (UTC)I feel like a moron, though, because not only did I have to look up Nora Dunn, but I had to do a double-take when I saw the date of all these things you're referring to. Did I think they had happened recently? Ohhhh yeah I did.
*headwall headwall headwall*
no subject
Date: 2008-07-04 10:10 pm (UTC)Which things? Stockard being a drunken ho or the SNL debacle?
no subject
Date: 2008-07-04 10:12 pm (UTC)